I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “time heals all wounds”. In many cases, this is completely true. But, it is often hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel during a post break up fog. If you’re anything like me, you just want to feel better immediately. (And often put off ending things with someone because you’re too scared of being vulnerable, hurting, and actually going through the process of healing).
Let me make one thing very clear: I am all for grieving. I think the grieving process is one of the most powerful processes to go through. Grief can remake you a new person and make you stronger than you’ve ever been. But I personally do not like wallowing. I think it is okay to wallow around for a while and feel sorry for yourself, but I personally don’t like feeling like life is happening to me, I like feeling like I am in control. So, generally, after a few days feeling like no one will ever love me again, I like to take control of my life again. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. Remember that your worth is not determined by other people, but by yourself!
It’s true, time does heal most wounds. You slowly forget about your feelings for the other person, you just eventually stop caring. But, the wounds don’t heal without a little help from good old self improvement and distraction. If you sit around and wallow and wait to get over someone, you won’t just magically get over them, you’ve got to work at it. Be proactive, use your heartbreak as a tool for improving yourself, not as an excuse to fall apart at the seams and spend your life surrounded by dirty tissues and Uber Eats bags. (Unless that’s what you want, you do you.)
Here are five things you can do to be proactive and productive in your heartbreak:
Feel your feelings, write it out. If you aren’t a confident writer, try journalling. Writing about the things that you’re grateful for, or things that went well that day. Write about the things that are hurting you, and how they are making you feel. It can be really cathartic and will make you feel better. Start a blog, write a book, poetry, the options are endless! Pour your time and energy into being productive in a new project.
If you are having a bit of a day where you just want to escape the reality of your life, open a book. I highly recommend fantasy as you can’t run any further from your problems than into the pages of a fantasy novel. Read a biography of a celeb that you like, make yourself feel inspired. I recently purchased a book about how to deal with energy vampires and I literally cannot wait to pick it up. Reading improves your mind and can also give you so many things to talk about with other people.
- Listen to podcasts
It is good to be silent sometimes, and be alone with your thoughts. Really get to the crux of what you’re feeling. But also, sometimes your thoughts can be overwhelming and you just need to listen to people crap on about shit. They’re a lovely distraction, and good company on the way to work. There are some great dating and self improvement podcasts out there as well, as well as a plethora of true crime and comedy. Literally something for every mood you could possibly be in.
- Start a workout regime
Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, HAPPY PEOPLE DON’T SHOOT THEIR HUSBANDS. You’ll feel better about yourself which will make you feel better in general. It also gives you something to do if you’re feeling mopey and missing the time you used to spend with your other person. It is also a productive way to channel any anger you might be feeling.
- Surround yourself with friends and family
These are the people who will always love you. Assuming you didn’t push them all aside when you were in a relationship (and you better not have done that!). Go out, dance, laugh, do things that YOU want to do! Be around people that you love and who love you. Spend time nurturing the more positive relationships in your life.
There are obviously many more things you can do to stem the bleeding of a broken heart, but these are my five favourites.
Comment down below if you have any insights 🙂